I got the worst fucking fortune an introvert could get. ?

Me: *farts*

Apple Watch: You have achieved your Move goal!

I often fantasize about how much easier and more appealing existence would be if I could just… like baseball. Eat steaks. Go to church. Breed some brats. Be heterocentric. Settle into some pathetic ideal of upper middle class suburban life. Imagine having an entire culture of people just like you… I can’t even imagine what that must feel like. It sounds so fulfilling, even if the life itself is empty and pathetically normative.

I’d rather feel like I fit in the world than feel complex and aware. In a fucking heartbeat I’d pick ignorant bliss over ~woke and depressed. Why even fight for this world… for any of its causes? If all the idiots would stop breeding we wouldn’t have problems anymore. We could just die out quietly, long overdue.

Yesterday I went on my first spring bike ride and hike! ??‍♀️?

A glass of chardonnay* and a Frasier marathon and I’m shopping telescopes on Amazon.

(I haven’t watched this show in a decade! It was my first fandom. It got me into opera, classical music, wine, and inspired my interest in psychology until I realized it would require science coursework. I hardcore shipped Niles and Daphne, wrote melodramatic fic, and attended two filmings in L.A. with my fellow Internet nerds before meeting Internet people was a safe-ish normal thing. How I weaseled my parents into that is still beyond me. Anyway, I met David and he was lovely and my teenage life was complete.)

 

*the birthday party was somehow worse than expected; I’ve earned it.